Mastering the Art of Talk Dating Like a Generation Z: 51 Hyperspecific Terms for Romance, Sex and Bad Behaviour

This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the mainstream. Back then, the notion that someone could abruptly cease contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the height of disrespect. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, finding a significant other has only become more confounding – an oftentimes unsuccessful exercise in humiliation that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

Below is a extensive glossary to the terms this generation is using to talk about romance, sex and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

A

Genuineness – For gen Z, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your real, raw self. You'll need it with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This means choosing someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional excess, it refers to pairs who forgo having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal habits indicating a prospective partner is trouble. For instance calling their former partners crazy, bad tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions validate your choice to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band many young men is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet gesture.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {