This Floating Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the TV offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with dreadful writing, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series started, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last season. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too symbolic. Still, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the least of this show's issues. The recipient of a very rare no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin listing the problems. The laughably leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Performances so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, abuse allegations and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just really boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.